It is my life purpose to help women and men to heal from emotional and sexual abuse, and have the tools they need to heal and move forward in life, to achieve their goals and reach their potential, to find happiness and wellbeing.
On this website you’ll find lots of information and encouragement for those seeking answers to:
- Healing trauma from emotional or sexual abuse
- Resolving relationship issues and reoccurring patterns that diminish fulfillment and relationship-wellness
- Reaching your sexual potential and mastering sexual energy and ejaculation choice—resolving premature ejaculation
- Understanding and experiencing spiritual growth and cultivating wellbeing
If you are seeking answers and support with healing from emotional or sexual abuse trauma, or in taking your relationship to the next level, or with learning skills and receiving guidance on reaching your sexual potential and mastering sexual energy and ejaculation control, or you’re interested in spiritual growth and how to live consciously and in harmony within and with others—this website is for you.
You will find blog posts that explain what is going on behind the scenes of your mind’s awareness and how to bring that information out into the light of conscious awareness and work with it to find relief and growth. There are “How To” articles on sexual healing and sacred sexuality as well as on improving your relationships. You’ll also find lots of information on doing personal “inner-work” to help you make progress with healing and moving forward in your life.
My most popular pages are on the Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine, as well as Sexual Healing with Internal Pelvic Release, Sacred Sexuality, Tantric Healing, and Mastering Sexual Energy & Ejaculation Choice.
My blog post articles on the Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine, as well as Sexual Healing are widely quoted and linked to around the Internet, receiving 100s of hits per day. I’ve written a book that discusses ethical and safe sexual healing, entitled: Safe Sexual Healing: a Guidebook for Healers and Survivors of Sexual Abuse. Additionally, I’ve developed a novel method of ejaculation choice/control called The Gentle Draw™ method that provides a reliably consistent way to manage sexual energy and avoid ejaculation while experiencing orgasm multiple times which is seamless and non-disruptive during sex. I am also the creator of Transcendental Tantra™ a unique method of practicing Tantra as a spiritual path of consciousness expansion.
Signature treatments that I have developed and use with clients include: Inner Constellation™ method, Vagus Nerve Breathing™, The Ladder of Wellbeing, Escaping the Drama Triangle, and Living, Learning, and Evolving Consciously.
Coming out of a divorce in 2001, I left the conservative Christian religion I had been a member of for 20 years and went through a “mid-life crises.” I dove deep into my feelings and emotional wounds searching for answers—and trying heal. I went through a lot of soul searching with the help of counseling and began to heal from decades of emotional abuse.
I was introduced to Tantra that same year and quickly became adept at the breath practices and energy exercises I was learning. I discovered I had a natural understanding and “feel” for working with “Chi” or “prana” (energy) and quickly excelled in perceiving and understanding the energetic aspects of Tantra.
In 2007 after completing a private training program with my teacher Carla Tara, I became a certified Tantric Healer (Ohana School of Tantra www.1tantra.com) Since 2007+ I have expanded and deepened my understanding and practice of sexual healing through my study of body psychology, energy and emotional trauma based on the work of Dr. Wilhelm Reich, Dr. Alexander Lowen, and Jack Lee Rosenberg, Ph.D.
The coaching and counseling and energy healing I provide is a whole systems approach to health and wellbeing that includes working with developing emotional intelligence, transparency and fluency, deepening of self-understanding and awareness, and maintaining a healthy body-mind-heart integration and sexual wellbeing and empowerment.
Most of my coaching and counseling work is available worldwide via Skype—with a large international clientele. Many of my clients are well known in their field and include therapists, healers, shamans, Tantrics, coaches, yogis, and sexual healers.
For some established clients, I also provide in-person healing sessions—many national and several international clients travel to northern California for healing intensives or coaching sessions.
People who work with me often experience rapid progress and success with their goals. My style of coaching is nonjudgmental and supportive, relaxed, knowledgeable and helpful in a ‘connect-the-dots’ way. My life experience, natural abilities, training and further studies in the subjects of Tantra, energy work, psychology and emotional trauma, and treatments for healing from trauma, provides unique coaching insight and perspective.
The methods I have developed are reliably and broadly effective and infused with emotional, psychological, and physical cues that help clients know what’s happening so they can stay on-track in achieving their intended goal of healing, growth, integration and reaching their potential.
I help people who are seeking:
- to heal from emotional or sexual abuse trauma
- to take their relationship to the next level of connection and growth
- to reach their sexual potential as a couple; and
- to master sexual energy and ejaculation choice for men
- to integrate the Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine into your awareness and life experience
- to learn more about sexual healing, what to expect in receiving sexual healing and how to become a sexual healer
Contact me to set up a free consultation call
I was married for almost 20 years and raised two sets of children—a son and a daughter from my wife’s former marriage and later, two daughters of our own. I found out during our divorce that she had Borderline Personality Disorder, and I had been too emotionally immature to be able to deal with it. Between the two of us we managed to grind out almost two decades of dissatisfaction and blame, sprinkled with fleeting moments of “OK, or better” peppered with great joy—like my daughters’ births and highlights from their childhood.
Needless to say the sex was terribly infrequent, manipulative, and used as leverage whenever we actually had it. After the emotional fallout from my divorce I wondered if this was all there is? Was it possible to have a “good” relationship and sex without all the games and shaming—where both partners actually enjoyed sex and were fulfilled by it. Happily I discovered it IS!
As a young man, I had become a minister at 21 years old and have spent the next 30+ years helping people to cultivate and understand spirituality and their intimate relationships and how these can be integrated into normal life—especially in overcoming life’s challenges and improving personal relationships.
Sessions with me provide a holistic understanding of the issues, challenges, or problems at hand and where these originate from; along with concrete, grounded solutions that address emotional, physical, mental and spiritual challenges and goals. I provide a safe and sacred container within which to heal, explore, grow, and expand in awareness and regain wholeness.
My fervent prayer is for every man and woman to experience spiritual-sexual-emotional integration, wellbeing and the wholeness they desire—including freeness of sexual expression, experience, and empowerment.
Q. “What does your name mean?” —Answer
What Tantra Means to Me
My journey of awakening began with an introduction to western styled “Tantra,” or Sacred Sexuality which revealed to me a “language” and lexicon for the most potent and dynamic aspect of what motivates and inspires us: erotic —sexual— energy. In addition to this I started studying yoga and Qigong energy practices, becoming familiar with Taoist and Yogic systems of subtle energy (“Chi”, Qi, or Prana) as it pertains to physical, emotional, mental and sexual wellbeing.
“Tantra is not for sex—Tantra is for transcendence.” —Osho
I was inspired by what I was learning about sexual energy’s healing capabilities and how it can create emotional-physical-spiritual relief, restore vitality and wellbeing.
After several years of study and practice I started incorporating what I had learned about erotic energy into my counseling practice. Eventually, I became a sexual healer with my intimate partner, and then to those in my spiritual community who trusted me and were seeking to open to deep healing and transformation, and lastly to the general public.
I went through an intense self examination process to get clear about my motivation to be a sexual healer. My initial hands-on healing sessions were with another healer in co-facilitated sessions. Additionally, I received feedback and guidance from other healers, counselors and shamans I knew.
In 2009 I added to my education and ability to work with spiritual healing energy by receiving Reiki level III attunement —Reiki Master (Shinpiden), Usui lineage—as well as Quantum Light attunement.
My Desire for All of Us
I believe every one of us deserves to feel empowered with a sense of integral wholeness and wellbeing and enjoy the experience of sexuality, intimacy and harmony in our relationship. When we are faced with challenges to our sense of congruity and dynamic “aliveness” it can be difficult to understand what to do to find relief or progress. In those cases we need help from a safe, reliable and experienced guide. As a mature man who has experienced a lot on his journey of personal growth and integration I offer my guidance in sacred service.
Please contact me if I can help you with your process of healing and path of spiritual growth; emotional or sexual healing, integration and well-being.
* This excerpt from a book on male and female psychology, wonderfully describes how I feel about my connection to the divine feminine, my spiritual sensitivity, and my relationship to and understanding of feminine psychology:
In addition to men with a homoerotic tendency or homosexual nature there are other, heterosexual men who also lie very close to the feminine archetype. These men have succeeded in making a male ego identification, and their sexual feelings and love needs are directed toward women, but it is as though the feminine archetype is unusually numinous to them and looks large in their psychology. They too are often sensitive men with healing gifts or artistic inclinations…[with a] sensitive and differentiated personality. With these men, the Dr. Zhivagos of our society, there seems to be a need to be initiated into the meaning and mystery of the feminine on all of its levels. Such men are called on to understand women, to understand the feminine in themselves, to recognize and give importance to feminine values in life, and to have an immediate and personal experience as it were, of the Great Goddess. Such an initiation into the meaning of the feminine does not feminize these men, for in understanding the feminine they also differentiated the feminine from themselves. Their ego remains masculine, but is transformed by this initiation into a more differentiated state of consciousness. These cases suggest that the psychological influence of the anima is greater in some men than in others. Because of her numinosity, the anima exerts a profound influence on the psychology of certain men, fating them to lead a special kind of life that requires them to acquire unusual self-knowledge.
(pg. 100 “The Invisible Partners” by John A. Sanford)